One of the reasons i have been lacking in blog space is my insane work load. I have exams coming up which means I am constantly engrossed in furious procrastination. But that is not the only work occupying my time; my painfully dull weekend job is becoming the bane of my life. The point is it hasn’t always been such a royal ache in my femur, I used to actually enjoy selling dead pensioners clothes to pretentious teenagers, but recently I don’t know how or in what way but the dynamics have changed. I have been moved to the ‘bargain basement’. I think it’s a cosmic rule that anyone shopping for bargains in a thrift store has issues. The worse experience I’ve had of late was a rather mousey lady who spent 4 hours trying to choose a belt. That is not a dramatic overstatement, it legitimately was 4 hours. We don’t even have a huge stock of belts; it’s only a little grid display. I think her dilemma was that she wasn’t whether she wanted a sandy or seal colored strap of leather. To be honest I just wanted to grab them all, choke her with them, and then hysterically remind her that ‘THEY ARE BROWN’ but unfortunately I don’t think that’s customer-friendly, or as a matter of fact; legal.
There are however perks to working in the retail field. I find myself constantly surrounded by cool-on-paper people. I truly love the people I work with and I think they are fan-fucking-tastic but so do people who have never spoken to them. By mere sight civilians know our staff can be trusted to assess what is ‘hip’ or not. Now what I see as ‘cool’ and what popular culture sees as ‘cool’ are two completely different temperature gages. I will see a person as being truly worth my time if they are pure fun – i.e. if they don’t give a rat ass, a flying fuck, or a cookie crumb what people think of them. However, I have found lately that people are believed to be cool if they;
1. Dress like a pensioner.
2. Listen to music that is so awful no one else has ever heard of it.
3. Smoke ‘Golden V’ on flavoured papers – or Marlboro lights.
Now as most people who actually bother reading this thing will know I pretty much slot into all the categories above, thus making me a hypocrite. But I do not mean to appear so self-righteous my dears. I never wanted to become this way, I guess I just love my nan, and Wild Beasts and bubblegum rizzlers. I do not think it is a problem to try and be ‘individual’ so why then do I find it so god-damn unbearable to be labelled ‘indie’? It would be easier to digest this hatred if I didn’t spend 7-14 hours a week enforcing the very ideas I am trying to rebel against. I just think that a style that is so popular shouldn’t be so ridiculed because of its hilariously inaccurate name. From now on the ‘indie’ style is called the ‘banal’ style and each and every one of you is a part of it. Fo real-reals.
In other- slightly more Important news; Osama Bin Laden is dead. Yes, yes congratulations USA I’m very proud of you and your complicated murder schemes. The world wide web has been riddles with jokes, annicdotes and even a limerick or two regarding the Pakistani terrorist’s death and I think it should stop. Not that I haven’t been quietly celebrating myself, but I don’t think people quite realise that just because he is dead it doesn’t mean terrorism as we know it is over. In fact a public celebration of this magnitude will surely provoke other Al Qaeda terrorists into action? With all the hype and hypocrisy over the royal wedding and all the partying and parading in the US over Bin Laden’s death, I personally think it’s only a matter of time before our overbearing society literally; crashes and burns. I am not threatening the safety of either of my home countries I am simply making a plea – stop being so painfully eminent, swallow your pride, and try out a little sombre modesty for once in your self-assured lives. It’s quite simple really, the Chinese have been doing it for decades.
Please do not report me to any formal authorities for terrorism. I assure you I am fair too cold and hung-over to attempt any kind of insentient acts but just in case I’m going to go and burn my ‘Where’s Bin Laden?’ story book, can’t be too frivolous with evidence nowadays can I?
Get one before the CIA do - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wheres-Bin-Laden-Many-Others/dp/1741103320/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1304363008&sr=8-2
