Well hello loyal subjects. Yes, it has been quite some time. You're probably all wondering what dark, twisty, satanic misadventures I have been embarking upon since we last spoke. Alas young ones, I am only able to disappoint as I am keeping that information to myself today. I have (very recently) decided that rather than being egocentric and petty I will instead be returning this page to it's former... something. By that I mean that I will not be burdening the public with my failed love life, my drug habits, or my venomous revenge plots. Instead I will hint and dance around all these issues and then do the adult thing and simply pretend instead to be interested in current affairs.
Recently I have found myself very focused on the idea of normality. As you will all undoubtedly agree I am not what majority vote would classify as 'normal'. I do not mean this in the 'I wear tweed and listen to bands you've never heard of ' way, I mean it in the socially unacceptable way. I talk too much, my thought process is completely mangled, I have a very warped opinion of reality and i rarely adhere to social queues. Oh and of course I wear tweed and listen to bands you've never heard of. But why does this make me abnormal, what is the definition of normal? The Oxford English Dictionary defines normality as: The condition of being normal; the state of being usual, typical or expected. But does that apply to society today? Definitions of what constitutes abnormal behavior have changed dramatically throughout history. Before the application of scientific thinking in this area, any behavior that seemed outside of an individual's control was thought to be the product of supernatural forces. The way in which our ancestors dealt with abnormal behavior reflected their very different beliefs about it's nature and cause. Although we have moved on in our understanding of what constitutes normal and abnormal behavior (and therefore which requires treatment), the definition of abnormality itself inevitably remains a judgement call. We could spend hours trying to define this most elusive concept, what is evident is that no single definition is adequate on its own, although each captures some aspect of what we might expect from a true definition of the term. Unfortunately the ideal of normality can be heavily influenced by a number of presences including the pressure from social influences, the ability to function adequately and hate/love. Abnormalities manifest themselves in many different forms but not all of these manifestations are undesirable. For example; having an IQ over 140 is abnormal, but it is not undesirable. However, depression is a common mental illness in the UK, making it normal to suffer from, but depression isn't desirable.
With all this in mind, what constitutes normal behavior for every day life? Can we put our choices down to abnormalities in character? Can we say we made mistakes based on slips of judgement or pure accident? Or do we have to merely accept our follies and take responsibility for the things we simply can not explain away. Just how many times does someone have to repeat the same action before it stops being a 'mistake' and starts being a personality trait? It's normal to fuck up lads. But it's not normal not to recognize a mistake from a choice. Yes delusions come in much more serious forms, warped ideas of reality, tactile, auditory or visual hallucinations etc. but delusions can also be presented as megalomania for example, among other more mild delusions. Including not knowing when something is simply your fault.
I've been blaming everyone else for the choices i've made recently and if you were a victim of my ruthless insidiousness then i am truly sorry. I have terrible luck, there is no denying it - i've never won anything by chance, I always call coins wrong and a lot of other more substantial and eloquent 'symptoms' which I won't go in to due to my new blogging rules. This downfall has caused me to be overly superstitious my whole life, almost to a crippling degree. However I can not blame the universe for my absent-minded nature. I will openly admit that one of my biggest character flaws is that I can be trusted. I miss deadlines, I'm always late, I lose everything and I can decide not to listen to my conscious at will. This does not make me a bad person, in simple terms it just means I have the ability to be a bad person and often am mistaken for one. I never wanted to be like this, but over time things change and you have to learn that not everything is going to be rainbows and smiles. Your reality is going to look a lot different to how you imagined it as a child. And that's normal, in fact in my case it's a good thing because when I was a child i wanted to be a viral digimon named Diaboromon.
I originally had a point about claiming insanity in murder charges and some other intellectual topics of discussion but after reading back the word 'digimon' I know that I am just too tired for this. I will advance more on this tomorrow because apparently I am no longer repulsed by my own writing anymore. I haven't really covered enough ground to be proud of my valiant efforts today - but I did throw a haribo in the air and catch it in my mouth so I don't really care anymore.
